So, most of us know the feeling. We want to be friendly. We want visitors and guests to feel welcomed. We want them to enjoy their first time at church. But, man, we’d really rather not have to stroll over and force our way into an all-too-often awkward, bumpy, uncomfortable conversation.
But, for the Christian, our primary role here in this world is to communicate the good news of Jesus, so conversation is a pretty important part of our job. (Mark 16:15, Acts 1:8)
our primary role here in this world is to communicate the good news of Jesus, so conversation is a pretty important part of our job.
So, how do we get better at it? Well nothing can replace practice. Bite the bullet and get introducing yourself. There is an element of conversation that is truly an art form and that can only come by hands on practice. But there is also a science to some parts of conversation and these we can prepare for a little.
I think most of us can start a conversation with a “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. My name is…” or “Good morning, how are you?” That’s usually not the problem or the most common concern. No, the fear tends to be… then what? We exchange names or good mornings and then the dreaded awkward silence commences. Yikes. Eyes glance to the floor, to the walls, to the ceiling. Feet shuffle. An uncomfortable cough. And we’re crashing and burning and panicking and can’t help but think we should have never come over in the first place!
Now, awkwardness isn’t the end of the world. But it can be hard on both sides of the conversation and seeking to navigate a conversation smoothly can be a real kindness to everyone involved. So, if we do manage to strike up a conversation then what? Where do we go from there? And perhaps most importantly, how do we withdraw gracefully so both parties feel good about the encounter?
With that in mind here are seven very basic, generic phrases that perhaps might help. Some of them may seem obvious, but having such phrases consciously stored and ready to go can make a big difference in the heat of the moment. So log these away for next time you greet someone new:
1. The Short and Sweet
“Well, It’s great to meet you. Welcome. I hope you feel right at home.” and exit stage left.
This one can be pulled out at any point in the conversation to (hopefully) make that graceful exit.
2. The First Timer
“Have you been to St. George’s before?”
This one you want to be a little careful with because assumptions can lead to awkwardness. When they reply, “No, actual I’ve been coming for 4 months…” well that’s embarrassing. In fact perhaps a safer tact to take would be, “Have you been coming to St. George’s long?” But either way, if you’re fairly confident they’re relatively new you can try this one out. It can lead to some nice follow ups like some of the next ones on the list.
3. The Homestead
“Have you come a long way to be with us?”
Asking about their home is easy and can spark lots of other conversation such as, “How long have you lived there?”, “How long a drive is that?” or sharing about where you come from.
4. The Connection
“Oh, how did you hear about us?”
Asking what brought someone to us can lead to other topics and is a great way for us to gauge how we’re reaching our community. You can also follow up with something real welcoming like, “Well, I’m so glad you did.”
5. The Testimony
“Oh, I remember my first time here. I…”
Sharing your own story can be a great way to share common ground and let’s a guest get to know you while not requiring too much from them. Probably try and keep it short and sweet though just so you don’t bury them in stories and jabbering!
6. The Kiddos
“What beautiful kids. They must keep you busy?”
If you’re chatting with parents you can try this one out. It can lead to them sharing some about their family life. And even if it doesn’t, if you have kids you can share a little about them and find some immediate common ground.
7. The Q & A
“If you have any questions or anything don’t hesitate to ask.”
If you’re talking to a first timer this can be a nice way to make yourself available and inviting without requiring anything further from the conversation. If they don’t have any questions you can easily pull out “The Short and Sweet” and have had a warm, smooth encounter.
Remember God is good. His Spirit is in us. We have been given a beautiful and extraordinary purpose to share good news–the best news– of freedom and peace and love and joy to all people. We don’t need to be afraid of anything because we are safe and established in Christ Jesus. Let’s be bold and courageous and kind. Let’s trust in the Holy Spirit, who God has promised is with us and will guide and empower us. And let’s welcome new friends into our St. George’s family together.
If you have any other ideas or useful phrases feel free to add them in the comments!
